Challenging the Promises of Weight Loss
Most people pursue weight loss at some point in their lives; it’s even considered normal and healthy to make efforts to manipulate your body size and shape. But within the context of modern history, this is a relatively new phenomenon.
Thinness is currently perceived as a significant determinant for health, status, social privilege, self-control, beauty, success, morality, lovability, and value. But why? Is this actually true? I want to explore the often automatic association between thinness and worth (i.e., happiness and health) that is pervasive within our culture.
I can’t tell you what will make you ultimately happy, or even define what happiness is for you. But I can lay down a solid foundation of facts, ideas, and professional wisdom to guide you along the way.
Dieting and Weight Loss Goals are Ubiquitous in our Culture.
It's everyone's answer to the problems of life.
I've spoken a lot about the detrimental effects of dieting and I have a large body of scientific evidence to back up my claims. If you're interested to know more about the psychology and biology behind the 95% failure rate of dieting, check out our blog for a full reference list. In this post, we will focus on explaining why losing weight can't make you happier.
The Cultural Beauty Ideal: Thinness Reigns Supreme
There is an unspoken belief that when you become thinner (or *finally* achieve that illustrious goal weight) that you will magically solve the riddle of your unhappiness. After years of interviewing personal training clients about their fitness and health goals, and in my work as a therapist, I can tell you (anecdotally) that this idea was always the epicenter: “If I can lose weight, I will finally solve my problems.” Below are some examples of theses problems:
“I want to feel better and have more energy.”
“I want to feel more confident.”
“I wish my old clothes would fit.”
“I want my partner to be attracted to me again.”
“I want to be healthier.”
“I want to be taken seriously at work.”
“I want to have self-control and feel attractive.”
Everyone falls prey to magical thinking at some point. Most often, behind weight loss goals are a wish for something deeper, an unmet need, and can be indicative of other issues. Oftentimes, weight loss behaviors are, at their core, attempts to get acceptance, belonging, love and intimacy, control and power, compassion and understanding, or respect.
What if your chaotic eating isn’t the problem, but a symptom of an unmet need in your life? What if your body is not the problem? What aspect of your being needs some love and attention?
The Pursuit of Weight Loss in Search of Happiness
If losing weight could magically solve all of your problems, you could finally be happy… right?
Three things:
1. The pain of having a body that doesn't fit the cultural ideal is real. The belief that you can finally be "happy" if you achieve the cultural thin ideal is underneath this pain.
2. Setting a Goal Weight or striving to achieve weight loss leads to dieting and joyless or repentant exercise, which leads to:
3. Long-term weight gain, diminishing self-esteem and self-efficacy, increased feelings of guilt, shame, feeling like a failure, and potentially developing an eating disorder.
The Reality About Weight Loss
Dieting and punishing exercise achieves the opposite of what you're trying to get, 95% of the time. The basic premise of restricting food to gain happiness (i.e., weight loss) is fundamentally flawed: by eating less or ignoring hunger, you are creating the perfect conditions for overeating or binge eating. (1.)
You are also increasing the likelihood for worsening physical health(2.) and mental health conditions(3.). This may look like fatigue and irritability due to hunger, social isolation due to strict food limitations, food obsession due to perceived deprivation, and feelings of guilt and failure when you resume eating.
(1.) Tribole, E. & Resch, E. Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works. (2012.) St. Martin's Griffin; Third edition.
(2.) Bacon, L. Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight. (2008). BenBella Books,Inc. Dallas, TX.
(3.) Matz, J. & Frankel, E. Beyond A Shadow Of A Diet: There Therapist's Guide To Treating Compulsive Eating. (2204.) Brunner-RRoutledge, New York, NY.
Happiness Redefined
"People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy. What would really satisfy people is not getting rich or slim, but feeling good about their lives. In the quest for happiness, partial solutions don't work."(4.)
(4.) M. Csikszentmihalyi. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. (2008). HarperCollins Publishers, New York, NY.
Happiness is a byproduct of being in your own truth (speaking your mind, standing up for yourself, proclaiming to the world, "I matter"), choosing your own path, and feeling in charge over your own life. You realize that although you may not be able to control your feelings, you can control how you express them, and how you care for yourself.
You honor all aspects of your being. You experience power- not by controlling others, but by harnessing power from within. You can ask your body what it needs, and nourish yourself based on the idea that you can trust yourself.
You claim your sovereignty: your right to create your own path. And in this way, you can choose to accept your body exactly the way it is, right now.
Will weight loss happen? I don't know. Bodies are all different and have uniques set points- or the weight at which your body is balanced and can easily maintain. Can you alter this set point? Maybe, but it comes at a high cost: reduction in your overall quality of life (e.g., developing an eating disorder).
In the end, it's not about food or weight. It's about how you feel about your life and yourself.
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Legal disclaimer: The ACED team is comprised of mental health professionals licensed to practice in the state of Texas. Reading our blog does not create a therapist-client relationship between us. Our blog is designed for informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for professional care. The contents of this blog should not be used to diagnose or treat illness of any kind, and before you rely on any information presented here you should consult with a trusted healthcare professional. If you are currently experiencing a mental health emergency please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.